Walking into the new year
Out with new year's resolutions, in with gratitude
Hello again and happy new year!
The new year can be tough, can’t it? We often view it as a blank slate, which we immediately begin filling with resolutions – and the expectations we set ourselves can feel quite overwhelming. As I looked at the blank slate of this newsletter, I’ll admit that I wondered what I should write for this first edition of the year. Because despite my years of writing, a blank page can still feel intimidating. As can a walk along a trail I’ve never stepped onto before. But wiping the slate clean can also bring renewed energy and a determination to do things – a phenomenon that Wharton professor Katherine Milkman has termed the ‘fresh start effect’. Which is why landmarks in time, like the start of the week, a new month or a new year, are the moments when people feel most motivated to begin something new.
So how do you do know where to start? For me, it’s simple: you take it one step at a time, and one word at a time.
Walking
I stopped making new year’s resolutions years ago. I never stuck to them and always felt bad when I failed to see them through past the end of January. I know I’m not alone in this. There are many theories on why so many of us give up on our resolutions so quickly, such as making them too big or too vague. Making a change – any change – can be hard. Just ask John C Norcross – a psychologist and expert in new year’s resolutions and how to stick to them. His advice is to make our goals specific, set a plan, track our progress and get some social support by buddying up with someone.
So instead of resolutions, I began keeping a ‘happy jar’. I got the idea from a friend I made in San Francisco many, many years ago. Throughout the year, each time something happened to make her happy, she’d write it down on a slip of paper and drop it into a jar. Then at the end of the year she’d read each one. So I began doing the same thing and now I have a new year’s eve ritual where I open the jar, read each slip of paper, and then paste them into scrapbooks. It’s become a way of keeping a journal, as the slips of paper track the positive moments of my year. Then a few years ago I changed the happy jar to a gratitude jar. Now I write down the things I feel grateful for. At the end of the first year of doing this I realised there’s not much difference between the things that make me happy and the things that make me feel grateful. But focusing on gratitude helps me to not only remember the positive things, but also examine the challenges and find ways to be grateful for them. It’s harder, for sure, but also more rewarding. Like the mistakes I’ve made and what I learned from them.
And, perhaps unsurprisingly, the first gratitude note I pulled out of the jar on new year’s eve was about a walk I took with someone in the summer.
So for our first walk of the year, let’s do it with gratitude. This is a meditative approach to walking so you should take your time with it – try 20 minutes if you can. It’s also a good idea to protect the time you set aside for this walk by switching off your phone or leaving it at home, and removing any distractions – that new podcast will still be waiting when you’re finished.
Take your time and walk slowly. Use a prompt, like ‘I’m grateful for’ or ‘I’m thankful for’ and repeat it as much as you need to while you walk. If it helps, you can pause to write down the things you’re grateful for in a notebook or on scraps of paper.
If you struggle to get going, start by looking around you. What can you see that makes you feel grateful? It could be something as simple as a tree or flower, a smile from a passing stranger, or simply the chance to be able to walk and enjoy the moment. They don’t have to be big things. I’ve found that it’s the littlest of things that mean the most, like a conversation with an old friend, a delicious meal or sunlight hitting the window after days of grey weather.
Writing
Now we’ve walked with gratitude it’s time to start writing our notes and dropping them into our jars. Write down the things you thought about during your walk, or use the ones you already wrote down. And it’s okay if you only have one or two to begin with, it’s the start of the year after all.
As for the jar, it doesn’t need to be fancy. Or even a jar – a small box or an old piece of Tupperware work just as well. Mine’s a Mason jar with a missing seal and a crack in the glass. It’s old, a little ragged and perfect for storing gratitude.
As for what I’ve put in my jar, my first gratitude note of the year is about you: the people who’ve supported this newsletter, sent me notes of encouragement and shared your walks and writing with me. Thank you.
Until next time,
Sarah