Walking with a friend over the phone

Two friends, two locations, two hours of walking and talking

Jun 01, 2022

Colour photo of an outdoor area with plants, logs, a wooden bench and a wooden sign that reads 'cake' — This way for cake at Spitalfields City Farm

Hello again. And welcome to all the new subscribers. If you’re new to this newsletter, I’m a writer who walks to boost my physical and mental health and inspire my writing. In these posts I share my walks and pair them with simple writing prompts.

Walking

A great way to enjoy a walk is with a friend. But as the last two years have shown, that’s not always possible. Time, location, social distancing rules and travel restrictions have made normal get-togethers challenging, even impossible. Many of our real-life relationships have become virtual thanks to messaging apps like Messenger, Slack and WhatsApp. And while video calling promised a way of bringing people together, it’s resulting in ‘Zoom fatigue’1 with research suggesting that women and new hires are disproportionately affected2. You’d think that the communication tech on our phones would make it easier to maintain our relationships, but the opposite seems to be happening. The constant ping of notifications can feel overwhelming and the sheer volume of messages can mean we end up taking ages to reply, or forget altogether, and start to feel anxious3.

Somewhere along the line we’ve forgotten the humble phone call. It’s a way of connecting with someone without the effort of looking good for the camera, the mental drain of maintaining eye contact through a screen, or the stress of sending and replying to endless texts. And there’s even research that suggests phone calls can help create closer bonds than text messages4. It makes sense to do more of that, doesn’t it?

And that’s exactly what my friend Simon and I did recently. We’ve known each other for more than 30 years but because we live so far apart we rarely get to meet in real life. So we arranged a day and time to have a good old-fashioned chin wag over the phone. And because this newsletter is about walking, we chatted while taking a virtual stroll together - 365 miles5 apart.

Simon lives in Scone, Scotland – a place I’ve never been to. I live in east London, not far from the house in Hackney where Si and I lived when we first moved to London in 1999. Yes reader, we are that old. (I know, I know, I can’t believe it either.)

Inspired by my Walking with your nose post, Si took me took me into the forest outside Scone in search of the smell of Scottish pine:

Colour photo showing a path between the pine trees in the forest area outside Scone in Scotland — Breathe in deeply and imagine the call of the wild pine scent

And I helped him revisit east London with a tour of Brick Lane and Spitalfields:

Colour photo of Brick lane in east London with shops, cars and people walking — Brick lane: fragrant curry spices intermingled with inner city grime

Si shared his view of Ben Chonzie, one of the Scottish munros:

Colour photo of a view looking across fields to Ben Chonzie in the distance, there are grey clouds in the sky — A tempting-looking mountain even with those clouds

And I showed him the street art at Allen Gardens behind Brick Lane:

Colour photo showing the wall beneath a railway bridge that is covered in graffiti art depicting a spray painted woman, man and cartoon character, various graffiti tags and the words 'do good things' — Do good things

So he showed me a piece of art he found in the forest:

Colour photo showing a piece of slate that has been painted with rainbow stripes and placed on top of a tree stump — If you go down to the woods today you’re sure to find some art

Then he introduced me to his four-legged walking chum, Tammy:

Colour photo of a black and white dog with a blue ball in her mouth — Who’s got the ball?

And I introduced him to Holmes the pig, a long-time resident at Spitalfields City Farm:

Colour photo of Holmes the pig at Spitalfields City Farm in his pen and with three balls near him, there's a blue-painted sign in the background with a white pig painted on it — Play time in the pig pen

For two hours, we walked and talked, catching up on each other’s news, reminiscing about the good times we’ve shared and wondering how on earth we got so old.

Reader, it was a beautiful way to spend the day.

So now over to you. For your walk I invite you to buddy up with a friend and take a virtual stroll together. Agree a day and time, how long you’ll walk and how you want to ‘talk’. Find a way that works for both of you, whether that’s a video or phone chat. Si and I combined chatting on a WhatsApp audio call with sharing photos over text. Whatever you decide, you might want to check you have enough data and minutes on your phone plan – and charge your phone – before you set off.

Writing

For this exercise I want you to write a letter to your friend. You might want to let them how know you felt after your virtual walk together, share anything surprising you discovered along the way, or simply tell them what their friendship means to you. You don’t have to send the letter if you don’t feel comfortable doing that. But letters can be such lovely things to receive that your friend might appreciate the gesture. I don’t know about you, but the only letters I get these days are bills, so getting a thoughtful handwritten letter in the post is a rare and special gift, isn’t it?

Happy walking, talking and writing until next time.

Sarah

Stanford researchers identify four causes for ‘Zoom fatigue’ and their simple fixes, published by Stanford News (online), 23 February 2022

“Zoom Fatigue” Disproportionately Affects Women And New Hires by Emily Reynolds, published on The British Psychological Society website, 5 October 2021

How to overcome 'texting anxiety', by Eve Upton-Clark, published by Reader’s Digest (online), 22 March 2022

Phone Calls Help Create Closer Bonds Than Texting by Emily Reynolds, published on The British Psychological Society website, 8 October 2020

I love the fact that Si and I live 365 miles away from each other: one mile for each day of the year. There must be an idea for a walk in there somewhere…

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By Sarah Farley

See how walking can help you find answers, spark ideas and fuel creativity. I share tips on using walks as inspiration and writing prompts to help bring your ideas to life. All you need is a notepad and pen, your imagination and your walking boots.